Chris O'Donnell
Kiefer Sutherland
Charlie Sheen
Oliver Platt
Tim Curry
Michael Wincott
Gabrielle Anwar
Rebecca De Mornay
Julie Delpy
Hugh O'Conor

Stephen Herek

"The picnic was delicious, the wine was excellent, remind me to send the Cardinal a note."
Time: 105 mins.
Rating: PG
Genre: Action/Romance/Drama
SYNOPSIS: A retelling of Dumas' classic swashbuckling story of three swordsmen of the disbanded French king's guard plus one young man who dreams to become one of them, who seek to save their King from the scheming of the Cardinal Richelieu.

BOTTOM LINE: The young guns of this once hip cast are even less convincing as swordsmen than they were as cowboys. Whatever made them think they could play such dashing & dangerous heroes? This Cliff Notes version of Dumas' classic tale gives just enough of the story to justify the historical context, but not nearly enough to make it compelling. Curry clearly relishes his part as the deviously evil Cardinal Richelieu, but comes off more as a pompous pervert than a political powerhouse. As for our heroes, Platt manages to inject some humor into the otherwise lifeless script; however, Sheen as the pious, yet passionate Aramis is a travesty. O'Donnell looks and acts like a petulant schoolgirl. The only one who manages to keep his dignity is Sutherland and that's mostly because he's playing the morose Athos. De Mornay is ridiculous as the coldly calculating Milady. Anwar doesn't fair much better mostly because she doesn't have much to do. The swordplay is adequate at best, displaying none of the style, humor or intensity that made the 1973 VERSION of this tale so wonderful. Even the most recent telling, THE MUSKETEER, managed to at least include amazing fight choreography in between the horrible acting. This is supposed to be a story filled with romance, heroism, intrigue and friendship. This is a painful retelling that brings nothing new or entertaining to the table.